Hello friends and family. I am starting this blog so I can express my thoughts and feelings without always having people jump me about it. I think that this past year has been a year of self discovery, more than any other year in my life. I think once you find your path that things just start making more sense, you stop spinning your wheels. You are more focused and are able to stay in tune with what God is calling you to do. If you don't know much about me the first thing you should know is that I am very much a person of faith. I always have been. I remember when I was 5 years old I would sit and think about the vastness of God and find myself overwhelmed by the thought of Him. I didn't fully understand all the things about Him but I just would find myself almost outside my body looking down at this world and how small it is compared to God and the infinite universe.
As years have passed my faith has gone in and out. I was very strong in it during my youth and through high school and after a few blasts of horrible things happening and losses, I began to question my faith. This year has been a year to rediscover and grow even deeper in my faith with God. I have had more people in the past year and a half judge me, stab me in the back, and hurt me than any time in my life. But as my grandfather said, " Perhaps you are doing something good, you have to be to have so many enemies." I never thought of it that way before. I will never admit that I am anything but a faulty person. I make mistakes and I learn from them, but I never give up. That is one thing I have learned is a very positive attribute to who I am. I could have given up a long time ago, but I never do.
This year I have learned that the world has become cruel, but there is also so much good in it. If you focus on only the bad people that is all you are going to see, but if you focus on the people who truly care and have always been there you will see more of that. It's all about perspective. Sometimes I have to do a literal work out brain wise to keep my perspective positive. I can allow all these people to define me and make me a no one or I can keep trying and pressing forward too the goal God has called me too and put Him first no matter what the sacrifice. I have chosen this.
Joyce Myers is one of my favorite authors and Christian writers, she wrote a daily bible verse that talks about this very thing. Here it is. ( Don't be surprised if you see her a lot in my posts).
"I'm Okay and I'm on My Way"
But the path of the [ uncompromisingly] just and righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines more and more (brighter an clearer) until [ it reaches its full strength and glory in] the perfect day [to be prepared]. - Proverbs 4:18
I have not arrived, and neither has anyone else. We are all in the process of becoming. For much in my life I felt that I would never be okay until I arrived, but I have learned that is not the truth. My heart desires to be all God wants me to be, and I want to be like Jesus. My flesh does not always cooperate with me (Read Romans 7).
Yes we all have a way to go. I was distraught about how far I had to go, and it seemed Satan reminded me of it daily, sometimes even hourly. I carried a constant sense of failure a feeling that I just was not what I needed to be, that I was not doing good enough, that I should try harder- and yet when I did try harder, I only failed more. I have now adopted a new attitude: " I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. I'm okay and I am on my way!"
I now know with all my heart that God is not angry with me because I have not arrived. He is pleased that I am pressing on, that I am staying on the path. If you and I will just "keep on keeping on," God will be pleased with our progress. Keep walking the walk. A walk is something taken one step at a time, This is an important thing to remember. - Joyce Myers.
This is the most important thing I have learned to do during 2011. I want to know what you have learned this year and what you feel has been the worst and best things you have accomplished! I hope to hear some responses. Even one thing is better than nothing at all, because I know if you search deep enough you will see what you have learned and what you want to change! :)
Happy New Year!
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